Matcamtim is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, sapient porpoise.

Matcamtim created parasitic wasps three million years ago.

If you believe in Matcamtim, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Matcamtim, she will not care at all.

Matcamtim's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Matcamtim's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Never feed lots of melons to snails while wearing violet shirts.

3. Rats are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate grasshopers.