Fitcenhansigbunflap is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, unsympathetic ant.

Fitcenhansigbunflap created vertebrates five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fitcenhansigbunflap, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Fitcenhansigbunflap, she will come to you in dreams.

Fitcenhansigbunflap's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Fitcenhansigbunflap's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Always share rice with strangers, but never with doves.

3. Always count to eight before sleeping.

4. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Fitcenhansigbunflap on top of all buildings.

5. Do not stand on grass.