Vabsawfut is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, duplicitous bear.

Vabsawfut created the Sol system six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vabsawfut, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Vabsawfut, he will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Vabsawfut's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Vabsawfut's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat wheat on fasting days.

2. Always remove scarves before touching carbon.

3. Always treat tortoises with great respect.

4. Never talk about optics near manatees while wearing yellow skirts.

5. Always pray immersed in water.