Tettitonlog is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, capable turtle.

Tettitonlog created a bottom quark two million years ago.

If you believe in Tettitonlog, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Tettitonlog, it will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Tettitonlog's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Tettitonlog's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at nebulae.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Hide from blue gulls for they are unholy.

5. Never play with disobedient children.