Litvinbonk is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, strong centipede.

Litvinbonk created a quark five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Litvinbonk, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Litvinbonk, he will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Litvinbonk's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Litvinbonk's Holy Commandments

1. Put Litvinbonk first in all things.

2. Do not hurt monkeys.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Do not shave your hands.

5. Do not trade with those who eat rice.