Parkfigpag is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, able scorpion.

Parkfigpag created a charm quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Parkfigpag, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Parkfigpag, it will cry a lot.

Parkfigpag's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Parkfigpag's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if three great tits approach from the east.

2. Never bounce near otters.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Never talk about grasshopers.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Parkfigpag.