Gofpomgigget is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, bad-tempered turtle.

Gofpomgigget created humankind eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gofpomgigget, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Gofpomgigget, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Gofpomgigget's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Gofpomgigget's Holy Commandments

1. Gofpomgigget loves turtles, so they must be respected.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of aluminium.

3. Do not kill badgers.

4. Never write about thermodynamics.

5. Never mention ducks.