Flyfemrat is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, intelligent snail.

Flyfemrat created Mount Everest six million years ago.

If you believe in Flyfemrat, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Flyfemrat, he will make you grow a tail.

Flyfemrat's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Flyfemrat's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat pineapples.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of carbon.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Never laugh in holy places.