Futbadcumyart is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, merciless deer.

Futbadcumyart created the planet Saturn six million years ago.

If you believe in Futbadcumyart, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Futbadcumyart, it will destroy your home solar system.

Futbadcumyart's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Futbadcumyart's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the strong nuclear force near turtles while wearing blue skirts and balancing seven carbon spheres on your hands.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Run away if eight capybaras approach from the west.

5. Do not drink alcohol.