Quartbigstaf is a god.

She takes the form of a large, astonishing wyrm.

Quartbigstaf created a charm quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quartbigstaf, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Quartbigstaf, she will remove you from existence.

Quartbigstaf's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Quartbigstaf's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no horses in a building before entering it.

2. Quartbigstaf must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Never wear magenta tights.

5. Never paint your face mauve.