Talzigzen is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, charitable pig.

Talzigzen created the Small Magellanic Cloud three million years ago.

If you believe in Talzigzen, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Talzigzen, he will have a low opinion of you.

Talzigzen's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Talzigzen's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from brown bats for they are unholy.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Talzigzen.

4. Do not study enzymes on holy days.

5. Always help moths.