Nulpodkardin is a god.

He takes the form of a small, slow frog.

Nulpodkardin created a Higgs boson seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Nulpodkardin, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Nulpodkardin, he will ignore you.

Nulpodkardin's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Nulpodkardin's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about galaxies.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Nulpodkardin.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Nulpodkardin.

5. You must pray to Nulpodkardin three times a day.