Pakbesshim is a god.

She takes the form of a small, prudent gorilla.

Pakbesshim created the Sol system nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pakbesshim, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Pakbesshim, she will turn you into a goat.

Pakbesshim's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Pakbesshim's Holy Commandments

1. Never point your back toward the east during prayer.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Do not contemplate gravity during the night.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Never write about nebulae.