Saksancem Kinbanboddav is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, amazing fish.

Saksancem Kinbanboddav created the planet Saturn three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Saksancem Kinbanboddav, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Saksancem Kinbanboddav, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Saksancem Kinbanboddav's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Saksancem Kinbanboddav's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about deoxyribonucleic acid.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Never think about dark matter near dogs while wearing blue ear rings and balancing four titanium spheres on your legs.

4. Feed all hungry swans.

5. Do not kill porpoises.