Zogpitbomloopdapvonk is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, annoying chicken.

Zogpitbomloopdapvonk created the Small Magellanic Cloud five billion years ago.

If you believe in Zogpitbomloopdapvonk, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Zogpitbomloopdapvonk, she will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Zogpitbomloopdapvonk's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Zogpitbomloopdapvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if eight geese approach from the south.

2. Draw representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Do not wear red clothing.

4. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

5. Never play with disobedient children.