Dissnurtwee is a god.

He takes the form of a large, bad-tempered chinchilla.

Dissnurtwee created the planet Jupiter two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dissnurtwee, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Dissnurtwee, he will remove you from existence.

Dissnurtwee's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Dissnurtwee's Holy Commandments

1. Never sing in the presence of elders.

2. Retreat if seven tapirs approach from the north.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate turtles.

4. Never feed lemons to rats while wearing boots.

5. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.