Homfebmisfunortbab Witjantip is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, amazing walrus.

Homfebmisfunortbab Witjantip created silver four years ago.

If you believe in Homfebmisfunortbab Witjantip, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Homfebmisfunortbab Witjantip, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Homfebmisfunortbab Witjantip's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Homfebmisfunortbab Witjantip's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from mauve squirrels for they are unholy.

2. Never cross forests at midday.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of iron.

4. Never eat beans on days of mourning.

5. Hide if six whales approach from the north.