Gemfagbell is a god.

He takes the form of a large, omniscient newt.

Gemfagbell created tapeworms three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gemfagbell, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Gemfagbell, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Gemfagbell's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Gemfagbell's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the strong nuclear force near pigs while wearing indigo tights.

2. Remain standing during prayer.

3. Never wear gray rings.

4. Never feed bananas to dolphins while wearing hats.

5. Draw representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.