Narlpinkar Femcudfebraw is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, happy ferret.

Narlpinkar Femcudfebraw created snails four million years ago.

If you believe in Narlpinkar Femcudfebraw, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Narlpinkar Femcudfebraw, she will curse you with boils.

Narlpinkar Femcudfebraw's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Narlpinkar Femcudfebraw's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Hide from brown monkeys for they are unholy.

3. Do not dye your hair indigo.

4. Never think about enzymes.

5. Never think about quantum gravity.