Quatzimgod is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, uncaring cat.

Quatzimgod created light three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quatzimgod, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Quatzimgod, she will turn you into a frog.

Quatzimgod's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Quatzimgod's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of carbon.

2. Quatzimgod loves sharks, so they must be honoured.

3. Never talk about asteroids.

4. Erect four aluminium sculptures of Quatzimgod on top of important buildings.

5. Never eat green fruit.