Bomparkjon is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, effective whale.

Bomparkjon created the planet Earth six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bomparkjon, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Bomparkjon, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Bomparkjon's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Bomparkjon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Bomparkjon loves cats, so they must be honoured.