Sakmapvonk is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, conceited fairy.

Sakmapvonk created the solar system five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sakmapvonk, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Sakmapvonk, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Sakmapvonk's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Sakmapvonk's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Sakmapvonk three times a day.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of iron.

3. Never eat parsnips.

4. Never talk about planets.

5. Do not trade with those who eat melons.