Quamfedgud is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, all-knowing fly.

Quamfedgud created a charm quark three billion years ago.

If you believe in Quamfedgud, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Quamfedgud, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Quamfedgud's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Quamfedgud's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Do not shave your legs.

4. Do not eat cherries.

5. Never think about special relativity near nematodes while wearing mauve skirts and balancing four silver spheres on your back.