Gunkipnat is a god.

It takes the form of a small, confident monkey.

Gunkipnat created tapeworms six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gunkipnat, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Gunkipnat, it will think nothing of it.

Gunkipnat's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Gunkipnat's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about archaea.

2. Never write about quantum field theory.

3. Hide if five geese approach from the east.

4. Never laugh in the presence of great tits.

5. Do not drink alcohol.