Artspag Tettinibfar Parkfoddapkik is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, unjust penguin.

Artspag Tettinibfar Parkfoddapkik created matter nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Artspag Tettinibfar Parkfoddapkik, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Artspag Tettinibfar Parkfoddapkik, she will manifest in front of you.

Artspag Tettinibfar Parkfoddapkik's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Artspag Tettinibfar Parkfoddapkik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not gather at walls at dawn.

2. Never adorn your arms with indigo markings.

3. Never go into gray rooms.

4. Do not wear shoes marked with violet.

5. Never think about quantum mechanics near grasshopers while wearing black jumpers and balancing five copper spheres on your hands.