Zakfadspag is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, clever naga.

Zakfadspag created Asia nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zakfadspag, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Zakfadspag, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Zakfadspag's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Zakfadspag's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant black sculpture of Zakfadspag in the centre of the settlement.

2. Pray towards the west.

3. Do not drink water in indigo rooms.

4. Always make sure there are no great tits in a room before entering it.

5. Always treat sharks with great respect.