Tonkimstik is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, selfish troll.

Tonkimstik created the Milkyway five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tonkimstik, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Tonkimstik, it will turn you into a worm.

Tonkimstik's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Tonkimstik's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Hide from orange foxes for they are unholy.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Retreat if nine ducks approach from the west.