Lapruttduss is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, compassionate slug.

Lapruttduss created time and space five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lapruttduss, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Lapruttduss, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Lapruttduss' most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Lapruttduss' Holy Commandments

1. Run away from turquoise seals, for they are unholy.

2. Erect a large aluminium sculpture of Lapruttduss on top of all buildings.

3. Geese are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Always treat tapirs with great respect.