Lagqueegsas is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, flying gerbil.

Lagqueegsas created energy six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lagqueegsas, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Lagqueegsas, he will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Lagqueegsas' most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Lagqueegsas' Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Always help sick bats.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Never talk about gravity.

5. Retreat if eight voles approach from the west.