Nillpangnab is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, dishonourable monkey.

Nillpangnab created the Whirlpool Galaxy two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nillpangnab, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Nillpangnab, she will cry a lot.

Nillpangnab's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Nillpangnab's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Learn three new languages a year.

4. Always help hamsters in need.

5. Do not commit murder.