Ruttaildun is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, smart mongoose.

Ruttaildun created life eight million years ago.

If you believe in Ruttaildun, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Ruttaildun, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Ruttaildun's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Ruttaildun's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Do not kill dolphins.

4. Never feed coconuts to hamsters while wearing shorts.

5. Respect your elders.