Yampomwigquag Pognadkipflow is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, egotistical mole.

Yampomwigquag Pognadkipflow created time and space nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Yampomwigquag Pognadkipflow, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Yampomwigquag Pognadkipflow, she will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Yampomwigquag Pognadkipflow's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Yampomwigquag Pognadkipflow's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Yampomwigquag Pognadkipflow.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not kill shrews.

4. Never eat apples.

5. Always wear orange.