Larnflapfag is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, intelligent chicken.

Larnflapfag created dark matter nine million years ago.

If you believe in Larnflapfag, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Larnflapfag, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Larnflapfag's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Larnflapfag's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Larnflapfag.

2. Always help hamsters in need.

3. Always make sure there are no dogs in a building before entering it.

4. Always make sure there are no dolphins in a room before entering it.

5. Always help sick turtles.