Pignakquagcisspantam is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, clever chinchilla.

Pignakquagcisspantam created Mount Everest eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pignakquagcisspantam, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Pignakquagcisspantam, he will destroy your home planet.

Pignakquagcisspantam's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Pignakquagcisspantam's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant zinc sculpture of Pignakquagcisspantam in the centre of the settlement.

2. Never look at dwarf planets.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Pignakquagcisspantam.

4. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.