Jinriltunhabzen is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, happy eagle.

Jinriltunhabzen created a charm quark nine million years ago.

If you believe in Jinriltunhabzen, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Jinriltunhabzen, it will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Jinriltunhabzen's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Jinriltunhabzen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Always help birds.

4. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near tortoises while wearing turquoise jumpers.

5. Never talk about stars.