Vonbudmanxen is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, merciless troll.

Vonbudmanxen created the world four billion years ago.

If you believe in Vonbudmanxen, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Vonbudmanxen, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Vonbudmanxen's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Vonbudmanxen's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Never talk about planets.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Vonbudmanxen.

4. Never think ill of sick porpoises.

5. Never go into blue rooms.