Begsugpak is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, humorless naga.

Begsugpak created a down quark three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Begsugpak, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Begsugpak, it will boil you in a big pot.

Begsugpak's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Begsugpak's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about dark energy near whales while wearing cyan scarves and balancing eight aluminium spheres on your hands.

2. You must never eat strawberries.

3. Learn six new languages a year.

4. Erect three silicon sculptures of Begsugpak on top of important buildings.

5. Do not listen to music.