Gepmaptam is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, duplicitous monkey.

Gepmaptam created a top quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gepmaptam, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Gepmaptam, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Gepmaptam's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Gepmaptam's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Never write about stars.

3. Never think about the strong nuclear force near swans while wearing mauve hats and balancing five aluminium spheres on your arms.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Never talk about archaea.