Dossmotwon is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, benevolent chicken.

Dossmotwon created dark energy seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Dossmotwon, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Dossmotwon, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Dossmotwon's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Dossmotwon's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. You must pray to Dossmotwon three times a day.

3. Never look at comets.

4. Retreat if five manatees approach from the east.

5. Dossmotwon must be the most important thing in your life.