Veenlapfen is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, weak ferret.

Veenlapfen created oxygen seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Veenlapfen, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Veenlapfen, she will be mildly annoyed.

Veenlapfen's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Veenlapfen's Holy Commandments

1. Veenlapfen must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Worship no other gods but Veenlapfen.

3. Never talk about solid mechanics.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Veenlapfen.

5. Always make sure there are no snails in a room before entering it.