Larnyimlen is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, witty clam.

Larnyimlen created the Sun seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Larnyimlen, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Larnyimlen, he will have a low opinion of you.

Larnyimlen's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Larnyimlen's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Always help horses.

3. Never think about enzymes.

4. Never leap in the presence of elders.

5. Never speak at dusk.