Zakzogyarp is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, merciless shark.

Zakzogyarp created matter nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zakzogyarp, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Zakzogyarp, it will turn you into a mole.

Zakzogyarp's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Zakzogyarp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of lead.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Zakzogyarp.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Never eat gooseberries.

5. You must love Zakzogyarp.