Lamcimbem is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, staggering jellyfish.

Lamcimbem created a bottom quark nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Lamcimbem, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Lamcimbem, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Lamcimbem's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Lamcimbem's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate mites.

2. Never stain your chest with cyan.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Always act with humility.

5. Always look after injured badgers.