Parkrapmonbagjattit is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, annoying unicorn.

Parkrapmonbagjattit created silver two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Parkrapmonbagjattit, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Parkrapmonbagjattit, he will send minions to preach to you.

Parkrapmonbagjattit's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Parkrapmonbagjattit's Holy Commandments

1. Put Parkrapmonbagjattit first in all things.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Never talk about ultrasonics near moths while wearing violet scarves.