Lamsisciss is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, witty newt.

Lamsisciss created the Small Magellanic Cloud nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lamsisciss, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Lamsisciss, she will refuse to believe in you.

Lamsisciss' most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Lamsisciss' Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of bananas to ducks while wearing gray dresses.

2. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Never paint your head black.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Do not covet oxen.