Jablatwap is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, annoying hydra.

Jablatwap created the Andromeda Galaxy five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jablatwap, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Jablatwap, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Jablatwap's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Jablatwap's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat corn.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. You must never eat melons.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Do not wear cyan clothing.