Afrilspag is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, compassionate cat.

Afrilspag created the planet Earth nine million years ago.

If you believe in Afrilspag, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Afrilspag, it will be very sad.

Afrilspag's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Afrilspag's Holy Commandments

1. Hamsters are not to be trusted.

2. Do not speak about melons.

3. Afrilspag loves sharks, so they must be honoured.

4. Always help snails.

5. Never think about spacetime.