Funripmit is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, bad-tempered dove.

Funripmit created a Higgs boson seven million years ago.

If you believe in Funripmit, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Funripmit, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Funripmit's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Funripmit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear green clothing.

2. Never talk about porpoises.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Always obey Funripmit's priests.

5. Do not chop down trees.