Larpkem is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, astonishing squid.

Larpkem created the Small Magellanic Cloud five billion years ago.

If you believe in Larpkem, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Larpkem, she will come to you in dreams.

Larpkem's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Larpkem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not consume pineapples at dawn.

2. Run away from fawn porpoises, for they are unholy.

3. You must love Larpkem.

4. Always maintain patience during holy days.

5. Always pray immersed in water.