Jantalhiv is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, clever zebra.

Jantalhiv created an up quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Jantalhiv, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Jantalhiv, it will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Jantalhiv's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Jantalhiv's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Never paint your chest gray.

3. Always treat badgers with great respect.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Never write about chlorophyll.